Wheezy Joe

Today I have been mostly... trying to make sounds by using the inhaling breath rather than the exhaling one, resulting in a funny situation where Mummy panics because it sounds like I'm having an asthma attack (except I'm not, because I follow it with a grin and a coo).

Fruity

Today I have been mostly... trying to blow raspberries.

Please be upstanding...

Today I have been mostly... trying to stand up.

Auntie Julie...

Auntie Julie... you should give some of your hair to Uncle Daniel, because you have lots of it and he doesn't!

Hey Cutesome!

Today in Blackpool it was soooo cool. (Oh, and cold as well - Mum forced me into my bear snowsuit - the one with the embarrassing bear ears.) The Professional Ballroom World Championships took place in the Winter Gardens. Mum, Dad and Zaida watched, but Boobie took me round to chat with the competitors. I think Natasha Karabey, who got into the semi-finals, would quite like me as her new partner - anyway, I met her and she's very nice.

I've been really working on my cute face since four weeks old. Have a look at this:

Oooh, I got offered a job as well! The waiters and chefs at the Italian restaurant La Piazza were so taken with me (obvious cuilinary skills - I'm a specialist in types of curded cheeses) that they offered me a job for next year. Wow! Maybe I'll be a celebrity chef after all.

Blackpool

Haven't blogged for the last couple of days because I've been in Blackpool! The Parents go every year for the British Closed Ballroom Dancing Championships, i.e. the National Championships. Mum says that last year I competed in the Open Amateur Ballroom category when I was about eight cells big, but I don't remember... maybe because I didn't actually have a brain back then, durrr.

Anyway we've been watching the dancing in the Empress Ballroom of the Winter Gardens. It's the biggest room I've ever seen, with coloured lights, elegant ladies wearing brightly-coloured, mega-sparkly dresses, men in penguin suits or loads of chest hair on show, and a very loud live band. Yesterday Mum and Dad were practising so Auntie Justine looked after me. I spent all day gawping at new stuff, being nosey and not sleeping. Today I've been so tired! But at this morning's dance practice I got a dance with Auntie Hazel MBE... before nodding off for the day.

Here I am in the B&B, practising my rolling on the bed. Got to get those Samba rolls down pat.

Pukey Guts

Oh dear. Mama got me weighed this morning and I was 14 lbs 14 oz. All bets had me well over 15 lbs so that was a bit of a disappointing result. Mum reckons it's 'cos of all the puking I've done recently. Last night I puked up my entire feed and filled two nappies in quick, smelly succession. The health visitor at the clinic thought it might be teething trouble too (the slow weight gain, I mean, not the mega-pooing).

I had a nice weekend though. Auntie Julie looked after me on Saturday whilst Mum and Dad had a dancing lesson, then on Sunday we went back to the flat in Croydon for a couple of days. Yesterday I saw Auntie Jenny and tired her out by being hyperactive at her. Excellent.

Strictly a fan

Was going to blog some wise words from the Dalai Lama, or other Tibetan monk whilst I'm in this garb, but.... Mum! Muuuuuuum, I'm hollering at you - quick, it's time for Strictly Come Dancing! I love the title sequence with its kaleidoscope effects and smile every time. After about ten minutes though, my attention span goes...

Oh, and another thing...

Just wanted to show you that I can grab my feet now (well, the left one, at least). I've been practising putting them in my mouth, but I'm still a way off chewing my nails: toenails, that is.

Today's nature documentary

Hello and welcome to Joel's Show. Today, I am David Attenborough and we are going to stalk for starfish in the vast plains of Boobie and Zaida's lounge floor. Let me show you how it's done.

Shhhh! We have to be very quiet for this, so come a bit closer.

Hey, not too close! Now, like a big cat, we stalk and lie in wait for our prey.

Hooray! Found a little star. Let's prod it - see what it does. Oooh.

Target practice

Jus' a quick blog. As Dad came through the door coming in from work today, I barely said 'hello' before puking on him. Cool. I mean, oops.

Classical boff

I'd been trying to tell Mum for ages, but today she heard on the radio and finally believed me: my little star plays Ludwig van Beethoven's Piano Sonata No.8 In C Minor Opus 13, better known as the third movement of the Pathétique - the Rondo: Allegro. Well, you know, one might burp and fart a lot but one can still have refined tastes.

High drama

Ooooh. Mum finally finished a letter to the Chief Executive at Barnet Hospital today, complaining of how she and I were treated there back in July when I was just a few days old. We went to the Post Office this morning and Mum posted her letter recorded delivery. Oooh, and I mean ooooooh, how exciting. I'll let you know what happens with that.

Rolling stone

Today I managed to roll all the way over from tummy to back - yay!

Here I am 'prone' (as Auntie Julie calls it, but is that the same thing as 'accident prone'?)

And here I am starting to tip... over I go! I've found this bit is what's crucial. Otherwise I stay pressed up on these damn arms without being able to crawl yet.

P.S. Like my biceps?

My new strawberry

Mum and I went to Tesco this afternoon (we don't get out much) and Mum let me pick a first teether. I've been dribbling more than the gummy people at the geriatric home Boobie works at. I've also been experimenting with stuffng my fist in my face and my thumb down my throat. Mum says I need to learn 'cause and effect' because shoving my thumb down my throat too hard makes me gag. Come to think of it, I guess I have done some impressive chuck-ups in the last week or so. Oh well.

Hold your head up high

Mum's been really trepidatious about giving me "tummy time" because the last few times I've let her know that I hated it.

Today, though, Boobie egged her on and she put me on my tummy, and I could hold my head up - hooray!

Oh, by the way, viewers, that is not a zit on my face. I scratched myself by accident because Mum had let my grubby nails grow too long. Woopsie.