Conversations I

- "No Tat! No Tat!"
- "Oh, dear, is there no cat, Joel?"
- "No Dork!"
- "Oh, there's no dog either?"
- "No Sheek!"
- "That's right, there are no sheep here inside the car. Joel, is there a duck?"
- "Yesz."
- "Where's the duck?"
- "Derr."

Mummy spent the rest of the car journey wondering whether there really had been a duck inside the car.

Still no cats

Opened the door of the fridge this morning.

"No Tat!"

Ran to Mum to tell her about my important discovery:

"Mama! No Tat! Tat, no noo! Oh Dear!"

Grammar Lesson

Today I've learnt a new grammatical construct which I'd like, in turn, to teach you: the Feline Negative.

I love cats. "Tat!" I'll say, pointing at a cat, or a picture of a cat. Or at Jess the cat, from Postman Pat (one of my absolute favouritest ever TV programs). Cats are great. But sometimes there just isn't a cat around. Here's where the Feline Negative comes in: "No Tat!"

Simply put, it points out the lack of a cat in any particular area. This clever grammatical device allows one to talk about Cats in many more situations than previously thought. I can now confidently point to a tree that does not contain a cat and say, "No Tat!" Similarly for paths, under cars, in cupboards and so on. You get the idea. I've tried it out in a range of situations today and I must say I like it.

I guess I should find out at some point if there's a Canine Negative and the suchlike. But for the while, cats (or no cats) are enough for me.